Crocs get their very own post

This is a very sensitive issue for me and I tend to offend a lot of people when I discuss this topic. But, enough with the DAMN CROCS!! I really do hate them. As a matter of fact I belong to a group on facebook named "I don't care how comfortable crocs are, you look like a dumb ass." And this is the absolute truth. I don't even know what to say, I literally am at a loss of words, just don't wear them, ok?

MY BLOG!!!

Thank you Kelley for introducing me to this. I've been looking for a place to publish my Fashion Pet Peeves. The ones that I just posted are from a while ago. I just thought I would put them on here to give you a taste of the types of things that have driven me insane in the past.

Braids were not intended to be worn as a headband

So I've been thinking lately about the different types of fashions that have come out lately. All the sparkly stuff, the cute little shrugs, cowboy boots, ballerina flats and I love some of the stuff and I hate some of the stuff. And let me give one disclaimer, I have seen some people pull off some of the stuff and it doesn't look that bad, but my opinions still stay the same. One thing I can't stand are cowboy boots, and not because they are ugly because I actually think they are cute, but girls do not know how to wear them. Unless you have BEAUTIFUL legs, that are toned and skinny you should not be wearing these with a skirt. They cut off your legs in the middle of your cafe and makes most girls legs look really fat. Another thing that I hate are those sweater things that tie right under your boobs, they look like a spanish dancers top, I know a lot of people wear them, but I still don't like them. I also hate those braids that go across the front and look like a headband, what are we three? And that by the way I have seen noone pull off, even on the OC, ya you notice how they did it for one episode and never again, cause it's ugly!!!

Short but to the point...No pun intended

Today while I was at school I saw some more things that really make me want to scream. One was panty hose with open toed shoes, it looked HORRIBLE!!!! Another is pastel colored tops, for some reason they remind me of mervyns in like 7th grade. You know I really don't like strappy high heels, they remind me of payless 5 years ago (and don't get me wrong, I love payless, but not 5 years ago). Also I hate the color orange for anything, like the annoying orange that is only supposed to be for football teams. Also pointy flats, that's like an oxy moron.

Bad Knockoffs...HUGE PET PEEVE!!

Who ever invented the tech vest? Damn Old Navy, I do have to admit I had one a while back, BUT it was pink and cute at the time, and was not used to keep me warm, it was for looks only. But that was in like ninth grade, what has happened; why are people still wearing them, and do they really keep you warm? If you have experience with being warm as a result of a tech vest please let me know. Next is boots, the kind that go up to like your knees or a little lower, under jeans that you cuffed up. The pointy high heel boots, don’t ever wear that around me because I will trip you. Fake designer bags, and I’m not talking the good fake ones, I’m talking about the fake ones that you get in the mall that have like EE instead of LV, and they totally look fake. If you can’t afford a real one or a really good fake one then don’t carry around a bad fake one, you’ll look stupid. It’s like the fake Tiffany’s jewelry the only reason people buy Tiffany’s or designer bags is for the look and that’s ok, BUT what’s the point of having totally fake looking Tiffany’s that you buy from Claire’s accessories and then wear it everyday! If you can’t afford the real stuff don’t wear the fake stuff! Today I saw a girl wearing a black polka dot belt with a matching purse, with a yellow shirt. Now I think yellow and black should never be worn together for 2 reasons. One you look like a bumblebee, two because they were my high school colors, so there might be some bias there. And what is up with the matching belt and purse, and I forgot to mention it was ROXY, are we in 7th grade? One for boys, never wear a white shirt with jeans, you look like you just got off the set of Grease, and that is not attractive. (John Travolta is the only one that is a sexy beast when he wears that stuff.) Also butterflies!!!!! I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this yet; insects do not belong in fashion! Dragonflies and butterflies are for the wilderness, not shirts, skirts and bags. I'm going to write a book.

Bleached Pants...the End

First let me say, right now I am in the process of writing a book about fasion pet peeves, if you have anything that bothers you, let me know and it might make it in the book! So remember when flowers in your hair used to be in, they aren't anymore, so quit killing the wild and leave them with their stem. I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before but gaucho pants, they look good on NOONE! First of all they are stretchy so unless you weigh 80 pounds don't even look at them and if you do weight 80 pounds go eat something. Second they make your legs look like you weigh at least 500 pounds. And lastly they confuse everyone, are they pants? are they a skirt? Oh no they're UGLY! Bleached pants, any type of bleached pants are ugly, so throw them away, especially the ones that look "worn" and like "oops, I accidentally spilled bleach on my pants, oh well." First of all, when you have that bleached look going down your legs it makes your legs look really really fat. Second noone can pull off bleached pants. So if you still have the receipt go return them to Charlotte Russe. Cowboy hats were invented for halloween and farmers. Stop wearing them as part of your outfit, they are so ugly! I recently went to the most annoying store, BUCKLE, and they had a pink cowboy hat, I almost threw up, they are sooooo ugly. Pants and skirts that have phrases written on the butts like "bootylicious". You're not bootylicious and that term hasn't been used since 2002! Platform shoes, the spice girls called, they want their shoes back and that's all I'm going to say about that. Denim bodysuits, damn you J-Lo, for making people think it's ok to buy those hidious suits. They are ugly, not flattering and only astronauts are supposed to wear body suits! And for that matter, jean dresses, throw them all away! Sneaker in the front, high heel in the back? These belong in the same category as those stupid Gaucho pants, they confuse everyone and they are ugly. Jessica Simpson wore them once on a really bad performance on TV and I changed the channel cause I wanted to through a spear through her heart. Animal print, anything animal print. Sheets, skirts, shirts, it's all really outdated. It used to be in, I am not denying that, but it's not anymore, and when it was in it wasn't cute, it was ugly, but everyone liked it cause it was a fad, so thank goodness that fad has passed and everyone can burn their animal print everything. Lastly bows tied around your ponytail, it reminds me something that I can't put my tongue on, but all I know is that it really scares me.

Ambercrombie...That's what my Dad calls it

These fashion pet peeves are a little objective, so I've decided to include photos to demonstrate my point. First of all grandma flowered anything, but especially these ugly button up cowboy looking shirts. They just aren't cute. .."

Next is tommy girl shirts, it just goes along with the whole name brand thing across your shirt, like Tommy makes cute clothes but their logo tees are just not cutting it. Cut them up and use them as rags..."

Peasant Tops, unless you are 3 and under, please don't wear them, I guess it's the poofy sleeves that get to me, I'm not sure, there is just something about them that makes me want to lash out irrationally. .."

Gym shirts, leave them to the sport teams, especially the orange ones. You don't play football, you never will, and you don't look cute in that shirt, so take it off and go change! Or put a paper bag over your head, either one will work..."

Metallic Clips going in the trash...better yet the fire

Alright, today we've got some classic annoyances. First of all, wooden clogs. I really don't know why people feel they need to wear these. First of all they are so annoying to listen to, click, click, click, click, Hello? and they can't be comfortable. Clogs were made for the dutch, and they were made to dance in. Some idiot got the bright idea, to make them fasionable (it's like when some idiot came up with the idea to put animae on t-shirts, we need to search and destroy these people). So unless you are Dutch, or you want me to kick your shins, don't wear clogs. Second metallic claw clips. In case you don't know what i'm talking about, the claw clips that go in your hair, but they are the worst when they are metallic silver. I don't even know how some people have those, because those stupid clips break so easily, and I know Wal-Mart doesn't sell them anymore, those were cast out at least 5 years ago! And the worst is when people put there hair in a pony tail and then use the clip to put it up in like a twist. HELLO! EVERYONE CAN SEE THE RUBBERBAND! Please go to your bathrooms immediately and dispose of any of these hideous clips (unless you use them to wash your face at night, that's OK, cause I think I use a stretchy headband from the 80's). Did anyone see Jessica Simpson at the VMA's? K that's ridiculous! She was wearing this see through lacy thing, that was falling off of her, and she looked like white trash. That girl bugs me because she acts like she has no idea what's going on around her, the only thing ever going through her head is "La la la la la...la la la la la la". I think she was trying to pull off some white trash south attire, but not on the red carpet! I mean come on Jessica, you have got to be kidding me! So moral of the story, don't wear wooden clogs, throw away your metallic clips, and don't dress like white trash.

I Recycle Men...Barf

I've had a lot of requests lately for a new blog, so here it is! There is this new fascination with jewel toned velvet clothes. First of all, velvet is not comfortable, it's hot and the texture drives me insane, and I am not feeling this jewel tone fad, leave them to the stones on our fingers please do not bring them into clothing! Jean mini skirts, pin striped mini skirts, mini skirts in general. Don't wear them. Unless you are wearing them to the beach, as like a cover up, get rid of them. Oh and especially DO NOT WEAR THEM WITH FRIGGIN COWBOY BOOTS. Hell, it's like noone looks in the mirror anymore when they are getting dressed, because if they did, you wouldn't see fat legged girls walking around the mall thinking they look hot or something. K one thing I am sick and tired of are these printed graphic tees that say things like "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks so." or "If you're rich I'm single" or "I recycle men". These shirts really only have one underlying message "I'M REALLY INSECURE, SO HOPEFULLY THIS SHIRT WILL COVER IT UP, SO LOOK AT ME! WEEEEE!" If you really want people to think these things of you, than your insane, I don't know what this knew fascination with appearing to be a gold digger is, if you ask me, these girls are S-H-A-L-L-O-W! And I saw the worst fashion pet peeve I think I have ever seen in my entire life!!!!! A gaucho jumpsuit!!!! I honestly couldn't believe my eyes.

Animae, Bell Sleeves and Fuggs

Alright everyone, I haven't posted one in forever and I know you are all dying to know what you shouldn't wear! So here you go! Number one no-no, corsette style tops. You know the kind that are super tight, they have like "bones" in them to give you curves and they tie up the back. You are not supposed to wear those as shirts! Note to self: Pass this memo onto Forever 21. Next, bell sleeves. They remind me of fat fairies for some reason or like olden day shirts. No sleeves should open that big, it's a waste of fabric and there are children that are cold in africa right now, so cut off the extra fabric and send it to them so they can make a couple of blankets out of them. Better yet, send the whole shirt to them and let them use it as a tent, we don't need those shirts polluting the US of A. K, this next one is REALLY GOOD. Animae anything, namely Hello Kitty. You know britney spears has a crystal hello kitty necklace that cost thousands of dollars? UGLY! I remember having some hello kitty coloring pencils...in the 5th grade! The cartoon stuff is really ugly, its like your trying to be cute by wearing something ugly that you think will be cute. Ya, news F-A-LASH (that's from uptown girls) It aint workin' girlfriendA! Go give em to your baby brother ... and the hello kitty stuff, go give it back to Sanrio Surprises. And this is a random pet peeve, but when people call fake stuff the real stuff, IE: Uggs. There is a big difference between uggs and fuggs (fake uggs), quit calling them uggs, that's like copyright infringement.

Hot & Not Hot

So i've decided to put a new spin on my fashion pet peeves, what's hot and what's not.
Hot: The al natural look (messy hair, natural makeup)
Not: The high maintenance look (board straight hair, eyeliner that doesn't follow your lash line, i freaking hate that)
Hot: Good fitting pair of dark jeans
Not: Jeans with rhinestones and ribbons and shit, or even worse, colored denim
Hot: Long layered shirts
Not: Belts over long layered shirts
Hot: Big Purses
Not: Big annoying colored purses, that blind you when you look at them